As the season winds down, one holiday creeps closer. We have done an article similar to this before, but we have not done one, about the Christmas holiday. And now that the NFL is taking over with a loaded slate of Christmas Eve and Christmas day games, what better time than now?
Here are my takes for Dallas Cowboys players as Christmas presents, the 2023 edition.
Lottery Ticket: Tyron Smith
This was as easy as it sounds. Usually a stocking stuffer, when people see lottery tickets it’s an afterthought. It’s not something that can give a person instant gratification, and the odds of winning on one are quite low.
As it has been discussed by multiple people and in numerous articles. Relying on Tyron Smith to be healthy is a big if of late. It has become a question of when will he get hurt? Rather than will he get hurt?
Going into the season we had not seen Smith play a full season since 2015. That streak continues, and it’s one I’m afraid will continue till he retires.
This season he has been relatively healthy, so it can be the equivalent of winning $50 off a scratcher. Not the grand prize, but something you’re definitely happy with.
PS5: Micah Parsons
This would have been more fitting in the previous years, but it can still be applicable. PS5s at one point were extremely hard to get. They were a hot commodity and everyone wanted one.
Everyone wants a Micah Parsons on their team. He is dominate at everything he does and he makes a strong case for the best player in the league as a whole. Not much further explanation is needed.
Socks and underwear: Zack Martin
When you’re a kid socks and underwear were some of the most deflating gifts you could receive. In the same way, the casual fan, can quite easily not respect offensive linemen and what the truly elite ones bring to the table.
When you get older, you come to appreciate gifts such as socks and underwear.
In the same way, as you grow more football knowledge, you start to respect every position on the field. Martin is one of the elite offensive linemen in the league. The players know it, the coaches know it, and the analysts know it. It is just not respected by everyone.
A lot of families around Christmas time do a game called white elephant or Yankee swap. The way I have played it are the rules we will be going by for the sake of this article.
The premise is everyone has a budget and goes to get a gift. All the gifts are put into a pile and then numbers are randomly assigned to each person. The first person selects a gift.
The next person can steal that gift, or they can choose from the pile. A gift can only be stolen twice and once it is, that gift can no longer be stolen.
DaRon Bland is the gift that someone chooses and it is quite obviously over the budget (a la Michael Scott in The Office).
No one expected much of anything to come after the 5th round pick. Now he is leading the league in interceptions and has more defensive touchdowns than a number of wide receivers. He is well outplaying his draft position thus he is far above the determined budget.
Visa Gift Card: Brandon Aubrey
When all else fails, people turn to gift cards. Specifically, Visa or other bank gift cards reign supreme for a prime reason. They are not specific to a specific store. They can be used everywhere.
Much like Brandon Aubrey can seemingly make a kick from anywhere on the field.
Aubrey has been automatic this year and has cemented himself as one of the Cowboys’ most reliable weapons. He is 31-31 on field goal attempts this year, eight of them being from 50+ yards.
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